Too many good children this Christmas, scientists warn

Parents may have been wrong all along. While they constantly warn their children against being naughty, researchers agree that an excess of good children may have dire consequences for the environment and the economy.

Data from Santa Claus’ Statistics Office show that, over the last decade, the rate of good children has increased by 0.4% year-on-year on average, bringing the total estimate to 87.2% in 2022. This corresponds to about 1.73 billion children, the highest figure on record since the Statistics Office was established in 1902. While this is excellent news for parents, it also poses a number of challenges.

Few studies exist on the environmental costs of this trend. However, preliminary research carried out by JRC scientists paints a grim picture. The high number of good children is leading to a growing need for toys and presents, which in turn is forcing the Elves’ workshops to increase production significantly. Scientists warn that the rising level of industrial activity may soon become unsustainable for the delicate ecosystem of the North Pole region.

The trend may also have economic consequences on the toy market. With an ever-growing rate of good children receiving presents from Santa, fewer and fewer parents need to purchase toys. The shrinking market, paired with the increased production costs caused by high inflation rates, may signify bad news for non-Elf toy producers.

JRC researchers call on children to help mitigate this trend. Occasional nose-picking, increased tantrums, and slightly lower school grades would go a long way. Every child can help.

Spokespersons for Santa Claus did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

See you next year

We will be back in 2024 with actual news on our research. In the meantime, we wish you a very happy Christmas and a wonderful New Year.